for a semblance of meaningful existence

Listen up, my dear kids and (ir)responsible adults.

You (actual living creatures reading my stuff, not the stolen-photo repost machines that seem to plague my “follower list”) may have noticed I don’t post as much as I used to.

The thing is: I don’t write blogposts for the sake of seeing My Amazing Words ™ in a nice font. Nope. I do a lot of writing for my day job. I see my words in print often enough. It’s nothing special.

I write blogposts to interact with people.

This is what I crave.

Actual honest uninhibited communication is something that is sorely missing from my offline existence – where I have to be all the way careful and considerate so as not to mess up important relationships by hinting at my unconventional religious and political stance. Where I have to stay silent so as not to hurt my elderly relatives by, again, my “outrageous” beliefs. Where I have a single flesh-and-blood friend I could fully trust, but who does not share 125% of my interests either and cannot be there for me whenever I may want to talk, simply because it’s physically impossible.

I am freaking lonely.

// insult to injury: I work with people on a daily basis; I live in a megalopolis; you want “alone in the crowd”, now that’s a textbook case if I ever were one! //

And the way I function is very simple: if I shout out from a rooftop and no-one so much as raises their head to shrug at a screaming idiot and shuffle on, I basically sober up and climb down to disappear into the crowd.

So when certain people here had to focus on their offline existences and stopped posting their stuff and commenting on mine, I kinda lost the incentive to write much, unless it’s some sort of imaginary obligation.

I wonder if there is anyone still here who would be curious to hear more rooftop sermons.

Not necessarily religious or political, y’know. It’s just that these two aspects are always there, permeating each and every step of mine. I don’t want to apologise for that. It’s just a fact.

Does anyone need me? My random rants on 3D nonsense? My random music embeds? Other things I think about but never share for fear they’re beyond boring?

If yes, I would much appreciate it if you commented when I post something you find worth commenting on.

I am open up for any sensible interaction. I am fine with being challenged and disagreed with, as long as it’s expressed in a respectful manner. Hell, I may well end up converted to your case if your arguments are good enough, for all I know.

PS For random music embeds, clicking the little star – the local wp “like” – if you enjoyed the song would be enough. But if you listened and didn’t understand why the hell I would ever play this – or why I said something unfavourable about the song in the body of my post, while you enjoyed that aspect – it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Because I will explain. No judging, just sharing. Simple as that.

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this is me

Silver Fox ’85, the official toon version. The fur and hair textures aren’t exactly designed for closeups, but I’m including one just for the sake of vanity.

I’m obviously keeping the character to myself, but I will tell you what went into the making of it =) The base figure is Krystal, and everything else apart from the hair, the skirt and the belt is a freebie, like Krystal herself. Well, the lace on the shirt comes from Transmap-O-Matic which I got from Michele’s old storefront at Rendo, and I cannot recall if Michele did ever put it up for free or not… Either way, most of the textures can be found here at Michele’s blog.

And here is Krystal and a load of her clothing, while this ShareCG page hosts the texture resources I used for the base to make the fur (Blacksmith3D is very handy for fixing the seams, but the rest of overlays I painted in the good ole trusty Paint.NET). The tail is the Bushy Tail also found on the LittleDragon pages. The bracelets were also part of a freebie pack, but I cannot recall what it was called ATM.

The paid-for clothing items are fairly old, so I don’t know if they’re available anymore. Regardless… The skirt is from here with a texture from this pack, and here’s where the belt is from. Then… The hair is this one. It’s still available, and inexpensive.

Eyelashes are made in LAMH, and claws are simple deformed spheres parented to the fingers.

Now, whenever I have more free time, I should dig out my classic “patriotic scene” with the carnations in the colours of the Russian flag, and have the virtual me pose with them for a new forum/Rendo/dA userpic.

 

 

 

just how annoying is that…

…imagine: dA displays one price in roubles and then charges another. I understand why it could happen: it “thinks” in USD internally and exchange rates are whacky, but holy hell, DO NOT offer a currency as a choice on your site if you do not support either regional fixed pricing or dynamic exchange rate adjustments! GOG.com does both.

 

I could watch it all day

http://world.deviantart.com/

It’s six PM here and Russia hardly ever lights up. Where are all the super talented schoolkids submitting their fanart? I really mean it, BTW, when I say “super talented”. Yup the majority of dA seems to be getting younger and younger (it was under 25 in 2012, and seems to have gone down), but a lot of them are crazy good. At least, at painting/drawing.

…I’m always wondering where my generation has disappeared to. I know that age is neither a pre-requisite for nor a guarantee of successful communication, but hell, somehow most people whose age I have an idea of and who are doing some kind of artwork and posting it online, they’re either under 25 or over 35.

I wonder what the average age of a DAZ forumite is. I guess more like forty.

one thing I’d miss about dA premium…

…is advanced stats. It’s one of the few reasons I’m still thinking about renewing.

So, here’s my top three for today. All rather old.

III: 679 views

I have a bad feeling… by mustakettu85 on DeviantArt

II: 711 views (that’s actually surprising; was it featured anywhere without my knowledge?)

Annie Skywalker – what if Anakin were a girl by mustakettu85 on DeviantArt

I: 858 views (this was even copied by some website once, and “art theft” isn’t what happens to my stuff actually… so that was an honour =))

Heretic: Entering the Cathedral by mustakettu85 on DeviantArt

I actually prefer the sequel, the Hexen fanart because this time I did everything myself (and not copypasted a DAZ skeleton skull around – of course I did credit where it came from) – but it only has 335 views as of now:

Unveiling the Heresy by mustakettu85 on DeviantArt

Ah well. Maybe later.

I have a problem with certain trends in self-promotion

It’s a trend on dA; and apparently here as well. Random faves/likes in order to attract attention to your own stuff.

Fun part: mostly done by folks who are crazy popular already.

To me, this superficial hunt for clickthroughs or something cheapens the very idea of human relationships. And yes, I may be the odd dinosaur out, but to me blogging (and even social network sites) is all about relationships. Not ‘exposure’ or other [SEHT] that is as phony as an average CV.

Added a new static page…

…with links to various software that I enjoy using. Obviously there are some rather specialised programs on that list (particularly in the “Worldbuilding for RPG and fiction” section), but I guess that people who either follow my blog or simply visit it regularly have similar interests to those of mine, so these links may turn out useful.